Monday, August 13, 2007

Well, I've done it

I just got to work after dropping my mom and my little girl off at the airport. My baby is going to spend a week and a half with my mom. I've never been away from her that long. I'm sad. I know that she's growing up so fast. And now, there's this hole to prove it. I know that she'll do just fine and have a great time. Me, I don't know. Fortunately, DH won't be going on a business trip this week as we had originally thought. So, we'll have each other and our little boy this week. I'm not sure if I'm more teary-eyed because I hate goodbyes or because I know that she's growing up. I knew this time was coming. It's just hard to let her go. I know that I have to. But, I'm selfish and I don't want her to go. I sit here and watch the flight updates to see if their plane has left. It's not due to leave for another 40 minutes, but that will be what I do for the next 40 minutes. And after the 40 minutes, I'll be counting down the days and hours until she returns. How do other moms do this and not lose their sanity in the process? I want her to grow up, but I want her to still need me too. I know that we'll talk practically every day. I know that she's in good hands, no great hands. Even though I know that, I'm still selfish. I tried to be positive about this whole thing, but this morning, it just got to me. My little baby girl is growing up and she's big enough to go on a trip without me. And she's big enough to enjoy herself and know that it's okay. After all, isn't that what we're raising her to be? Independent, self-confident, active, determined and eager? God, help me get through this week without my baby being around.

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